Thursday, June 25, 2020

Me, Myself, and I

 I've been severely slacking off lately, with posting on this blog. You'd think someone with the audacity to start a blog should actually post something on it. That's the thing about blogs, though. They seem so cool, so elegant. Blogging is what all successful people seem to do. (Or maybe I'm mistaken and they only seem more successful than others because they put their successes out in the open for anyone to read.) Blogging is such a good way to spend time. (Well actually staring at a screen isn't really a good thing for a body, especially one who spends a lot of time staring at a screen at work, never mind in her spare time.) But, oh, that time is sometimes hard to come by and inspiration sometimes seems to have gone AWOL. Even when I had interesting things to write about (read Gallup) I had a hard time finding time and inspiration enough to post something interesting. So much less now, when life seems normal and boring, dull and utterly uninteresting. Ah, well.

I came across a writing challenge the other day, and my first thought was just nothing. I didn't think much of it. This writing challenge was a daily topic about [me] to write about. Oh ya, that looks cool. I'd never have the self control to make time to write like that daily. That's what I thought then. I still think that now actually. I could maybe quickly type a handful of sentences a day and [post them here for you all to read, but they would sound like a story that I had written in Grade 1.

 

 

My Personality

 

I am an introverted person. I do not like meeting new people. I like reading and quietness. I listen to other people talking when I am in big groups and I laugh a lot.

 

By: Me

 

 

 

 See? What does that even tell you about me? Nothing that you didn't already know. Nothing that you wouldn't have figured out about me within 5 minutes of meeting me. Okay so a daily writing challenge is not feasible for me. But I am going to try for a weekly writing challenge. I found the daily writing challenge list again and took down a list of ideas from it to write about. The thing is I'm supposed to be writing about myself all the time. That fact actually intrigues me, though. But I'm afraid it will bore you. But then again, I guess you shouldn’t be reading my blog if you don’t want to hear about me.

 

 

Now. To get to the point. My self assignment for the week is ‘My Personality’ I am not particularly fond of writing about this topic. In my mind, someone else should be writing about me so you would get the real picture of me. Because what I tell you will be what I do and think and feel from the inside, out, whereas what my friends would tell you would be how you would see me in real life. But I guess that is the point. To tell you things about myself that you would not necessarily figure out without me telling you. Or maybe I’ll be too scared of what you will think to tell you all the real stuff so maybe all you’ll get today is what you already know.

 

I started this topic many times. I have many little thoughts written down waiting to be made into sentences and paragraphs. That won’t happen. My thoughts seem so full of color in my head, when I try to put them down on paper the color has dulled a bit. Maybe only a bit, but a noticeable bit to me.  When I try to speak those thoughts,  they come out in stutters and bleak, boring colors. And when I can’t get my thoughts out correctly and people hear what I say and not what I mean it annoys me because I just don’t know how to say what I actually mean. So I guess talking is not one of my favorite things to do. I sometimes wish I liked to talk. I definitely prefer not talking to talking. But sometimes I can get very quiet, like quieter then quiet and that's usually when I'm ticked off for some reason. Or maybe I just feel like being quiet. Sometimes I do not feel like talking so I just do not talk.

 

I like to think I am an organized person. Sometimes I am but sometimes that's a joke. It is true that I have a hard time concentrating on my work if there is a mess around me. I like to think that I don't get stressed out easily but when my surroundings are in upheaval then I do get stressed out. If I need to sew and there are dishes to be done I will be down in the kitchen banging around dishes before I can go sew. (The problem with that scenario is that the words 'sew' and 'need to' rarely happen in the same sentence if that sentence is coming out of my mouth. Usually I replace the word 'need' with 'want') But have a random peak into my room and you will see clothes and bedding and a few papers scattered all over so I'm not sure how that all goes together. That seems to be how my personality is often. Sometimes I am a quiet unassuming person and sometimes I am loud and don't care what people think of me. Sometimes I can skip blithely around without a care in the world and sometimes it seems like the whole world is on my shoulders. Sometimes I make split second decisions, sometimes it takes me a few days to decide what to wear to  a certain engagement. Ok, that last bit is not a good comparison. Sometimes I can make split second decisions, sometimes I can be the most indecisive person in the universe. Sometimes I am loud and obnoxious and stupid and annoy people with my comments and actions, sometimes (actually usually) I take gravel roads instead of highways to avoid the fast paced traffic as I find gravel roads much more idyllic and peaceful and calming to the mind.

 

 I am quite fond of nature. Or shall I say I am quite fond of weather. I guess it's both. Maybe it's the sky. The sky never ceases to amaze me. That's one thing in nature that is visible different from day to day. In climates like ours, plants and even animals change with the changing seasons, but anywhere you go the sky changes every day. Anytime I look up, I see something different and beautiful. The ever moving clouds changing from fluffy white to angry grey, the sky turning darker and darker shades of blue until the sun gives us a splendid grand finale before bidding farewell for the day. But we're not here to talk about nature are we? This is supposed to be about me. Well. Often on rainy days you will see me staring dreamily out the window, or sitting just outside the door where the rain can't reach me. I don't often take the last step out into the rain as I often find that the rain has come at inopportune times. And I'm too practical and unspontaneous enough to throw all caution to the wind and dash out into the torrents that the clouds are pouring out on us.

 

One thing you are finding out is that I am good at procrastinating. Or maybe I'm just good at introductions. Or maybe my introduction told you more about me then the last few paragraphs did. Another thing you have most likely deduced is that I am not one to say things straight. I don't just blurt out exactly how it is and deal with the consequences. I use words like 'sometimes' and 'mostly' and 'usually' and such fill in words to soften what already is not harsh. Another thing that I talked about in a previous post and touched lightly on a few sentences back is my non spontaneity. It bothers me slightly.

 

 Now for the facts before we close. According to the Myers Briggs 16 Personalities Test I am officially INFP, which is deemed 'The Mediator.' The second time I took it apparently I was INTP - The Logician. I am not sure which is more accurate. I cannot find the official link at this moment, to tell you what everything means, but if you read up on the website you can learn a thing or 2 about me. I relate to a lot of what is said about those two previous personality types. If you have more questions, ask me. In another personality test I've done, the one with the four basic temperaments (Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholy, Phlegmatic) I came up with equal parts Sanguine and Phlegmatic. Again I won't go into detail, you'll have to look the words/test up to get more of feel of my personality.

 

 And now I am going to apologize once more. I began writing this post over a week ago. 

 

 Now. How did I do? Would this pass a test you gave about me? How would you describe me differently?

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