Random Happiness and Ramblings

Little Things

•Voices I hear that I haven’t heard for a while
•Friends who come to see me
•Much needed sleep
•These people down here
•Faxes from Mom\Dad\Sisters\Brother
\Friends
•Kindness, unexpected
•Soft little babies to cuddle even when you need to put them down and they don’t want to be put down
•Awake kids who keep you company on long nights
•Playing crazy things with the 6 oldest kids
•Deliciousness (Reece’s anyone?)
•’Wuv oo’s’
•Obedience
•God
•Life
•Cheesy grins
•When little A finally closes his eyes and sleeps
•Accomplishments that I’ve been wanting to accomplish for many days

This makes me think of the song we used to sing so much that I got super sick of it.
“Where would I rather be on this beautiful day than in the house of God to sing and pray?!”

Usually we interpret the “house of God” to mean church, and “sing and pray” we take literally. But today I’m thinking that the “house of God” is wherever I am living for Him. If it’s just living my normal Christian Life, or teaching or helping needy people, or taking care of rejected, neglected children. If we are serving Him where He wants us to be then we are in the “house of God on this beautiful day.” Singing and praying can still be taken literally because that’s what we do on a daily, even hourly basis. But it can also be our other actions. Maybe it was the meal that was cooked, or the hug that was given, or the wave that was waved, or the word that was said. In a sense we are singing and praying to God if we do these things how God wants us to.
“God’s spirit hovering, so divinely pure, around His chosen ones who are gathered there”.

A Night in the Life

A Night in The Life

Night Duty

•The only 1 of 25+ people awake all night

•official shift starts at 2200 ends at 0715

•checks every half hour from 2200 to 0600

•cleans 7 bathrooms every night 

•does the kitchen laundry

There you have it. That’s night duty. Oh. You want more. Ok. I can do that. 

2200 it’s the beginning of my shift. My bathrooms are already all cleaned and the kids have been (mostly) sleeping since 2000. I put our newest child (Kareena, 4months) back in her crib on my first night check. A bunch of our staff have been offf partying since early evening so I’ve been first nurse teacher since 1630. Kareena did not want to be put down after she fell asleep so she’s been held most of the evening. 

2330 The partiers are backs and most everyone has gone back to bed. A few stragglers roam around finding food and water and showing visiting family members around, but for the most part I’m some. Kressida (7mo) wakes up so I fix her the bottle she is sure to want. Meanwhile Jessie (1yr) starts crying and wakes up the other two girls in second nursery. Despite all being awake at once they’re all sleeping again pretty soon and I head back down the long hall to my station in the dining room. 

0145 it’s been pretty quiet for the last 2 hrs. Tony 3 yr old Alice came crying to the dining room but entry right back to sleep when I took her back to to bed. Kitchen laundry is done and folded. 

0330 I seem to have picked the quietest night to write about.  Last night Jessie was crying every 7 minutes and I was trying to get frauds stuff done in the kitchen. The night before Landon was standing silently by the kitchen door every 10 minutes from 0200-0400 and I’d jump every time I walked out of the kitchen door. That 10 minutes isn’t even an exaggeration unless I had just been sitting by his bed for 20 minutes.  Then he’s wait maybe 15 minutes before coming to the kitchen. But now that I’ve just talked about what a quiet night it’s been it’ll probably get crazy. Only 1 of the 3 first nursery babies has been up yet so I might hear a few wails from there pretty soon

0400 the continuous “Rockabye Baby” that comes over the minutes from 1st and 2nd nursery is interrupted by a fuss. Finally someone awake to make my night a bit more interesting. I fix Alexander a bottle but he refuses to go back to sleep in the bright living room. His wife black eyes drink in everything of this room that he doesn’t get to see very often. It’s nice to have company so I hold him awhile before I put him back in his crib. Soon Karinnah wakes up and seems to think it’s morning. 

0445 ahhh yes my night is turning out interesting after all. Karinnah is still awake. Avril has climbed out of her crib and it’s no use putting her back as she’ll either climb out again or wake the other kids. Or both. 

I do my 5 o’clock check with a baby in one arm and a 3 yr old clinging to my other hand. Seeing as it’s 5 the early rising kids can at last get out of bed. At least 1 or 2 come out of every room. Including Kressida from first nurse. Back in the living room I have a baby on the floor surrounded by 4 or 5 admirers, a baby in my arms, and someone waking up every few minutes. 

Finally, after my 0530 check, I take everyone to the playroom where there isn’t so much to get into. I anxiously await 0600 when the play duty girls come down, and hope they might be a few minutes early. A dozen of our 16 kids are sleepily roaming around the playroom, also hoping the playduty girls will be down early so they can get out the toys. One of the babies is sleeping on my lap (I don’t understand how, with all the noise and commotion) and the other one is communicating quite loudly that she wants her morning bottle. Usually only 5 or 6 of the kids are up before 6 so things ere getting a bit out of hand. 

Finally at 0600 I can escape the ruckus and hand the big kids over to the 2 sleepy girls who aren’t very happy that they have to do early play duty again. Once I have the first nursery babies settled back down I turn to second nurse to comb and dress the 3 girls in there. 

0630 is not my best time when I’ve been up all night as Avril found out. After second nurse are ready for the day and herded back into the playroom I return to first nursery. There again I get those 3 ready for the day and then I try not to fall asleep til the first nursery teacher takes over at 0715. Papa has it figured out that it’s pretty hard to stay awake those last 45 minutes in 1st nursery so he usually shows up around 0700 to make sure I don’t sleep too much. 

0715 My official shift is over. Back in the dining room I finish up the diaries I had started just before things got busy. Every night I have to write a few words about how each child slept. Next on my list is breakfast (or is it supper?) and then I fall into bed between 0730 and 0800. 

That’s just one night. Most nights I found something to do in the kitchen to keep me from being bored and falling asleep. I fear I was a bit too ambitious there. A few nights I didn’t do much for fear that a new kids would be up every 2 minutes but mostly they slept through the night. Two night one of my friends staying up with me until 1 o’clock which was very much appreciated. And another highlight was the night Landon slept til after 0600 instead of his normal 0430.  And Pardon the lateness. My night duty week started June 10th with my last night being the 16th. I was happy to be done but I did like the solitude. 

Om Fireworks and Split Personalities

July 4

We sat up on those rocks together 

Not much disturbance, just me and her

Both of us awed by the situation

The dark sky exploding with man’s creation

Her eyes full of wonder, she uttered exclamations,

As she waited and watched in anticipation

Of the booming, the splendour, the smoke, the sparks 

That were man’s creations, blowing up, leaving their marks

For me a different awe of disturbance and sadness 

How does pollution and smoke fill one with gladness?

The brightness and haze eliminated my view 

Of the stars and the moon in that great vastness of blue

Which one of us was correct? I wondered, 

As man’s amazing creation covered up God’s splendour

She sat there excited; I sat there in shame.

But her and I, we’re one and the same. 

First Nursery

When you walk into the room at 0715 with your arms lade with the things you might need during the day, the night girl is very happy to see you.

I walk into first nursery at 0715 on Tuesday, June 4 with my arms full of stuff I may or may not need during the day or even the year. But at least I have it. The night girl sleepily hands over whichever baby she is holding, happy to be literally and figuratively handing the babies over to me and heading to bed. The babies , Alexander (A) and Kressida (K) are playing on the floor, still kind of sleepy.
Alexander has been here all of his 6 months. He wasn't given a name when he was born so he is called by his last name.  I think his name means slim but he is quite the opposite. Typical. He's a soft, lazy baby. And spoiled. He has a hard time letting Kressida be held cuz he wants to be. He loves bouncing endlessly in his jolly jumper but he doesn't know what to do with his arms in there. It looks very awkward.
 Kressida is about 7 months old. She's very used to a cradle board and is consequently quite stiff. She has a very ready smile and laugh and is content to play on the floor or hold her own bottle ot fall asleep by herself in her crib. She has a strong dislike for carrots and a mild dislike for peas. Unlike her 1st nurse partner, she loves to eat but it takes her awhile to figure out how to open her mouth if you wait too long between bites.
 By 8 o'clock when the bell rings for breakfast we who are being fed are already at the table eating. Alexander has just started eating actual baby food and has yet to figure out how to actually open his mouth and eat. You can feed him the same bite about 6 times and still have a spoonful left over. Naptime is whenever we get tired (0930 ish) to 1145. (My break is 1030-1145) After lunch is over we load up into the bumbo seats in the wagon that takes us everywhere and go for a ride. Sometimes we ride around the kitchen and chat with Head Cook and Kitchen Assistant. Sometimes we go outside and play on the grass for awhile. Sometimes we just go back to our little room and play in our swings or jolly jumpers or on the floor till we get grouchy (around 1400) and go to sleep. I get another break from 1500-1530 and when I get back I wake them up and give them baths.
 Our room is all the way at the opposite end of the hall of the kitchen and dining room, across from 2nd nursery. Well actually it's two adjoining rooms, one with rocking chairs and many toys and activities and one with cribs and a dreaded changing station and a big sink that is our bath. Through the not-so-soundproof walls of our play room we can hear the big kids playing outside and the windows are full of handprints from the ones who think we are more interesting than their toys.
 By 1800 we are bathed and back in the dining room being fed again.  Or pretending to be as sometimes the case might be for some of us.
 After supper Papa takes control of the wagon's destinations for a few minutes and I use this time to dash back to first nursery and fix bottles and empty the diaper genie and get things ready for the night. Usually by 1930 when the others are finished devotions and are coming noisily down the hall, the babies are sleeping and my only duties left for the day are half hour checks till 2200.

On Sheep and Taking Liberties

 In the midst of our work we do have time for fun. Saturday (the  8th) morning by 0715 there were 4 of us heading out in our muddy little Nissan Titan. Two hours, a stop for gas and for McDonalds later we reached our destination. Several handshakes and name exchanges later, there were 20 of us girls heading down the trail into the canyon. The trip down consisted of polite chatting and a stop in a small cave to sing a song. Extreme brakes were needed at some points as the downward clime usually pushed you into a run. At the bottom, the white ruins on the side of the canyon wall awaited us but after a few glances and exclamations the river was the main focal point and the occasional jeep splashing thru it was a favorite topic of conversation. After a few minutes of splashing and shrieking and bemoaning the fact that we had to hike back up, we started climbing for the top and thinking about what awaited us up there. Food. Or that's what kept me going anyways. And the thought of cold water to drink. The hike back up, tho hot and tiring, only took us about 15-20 more minutes than the run down which had been about half an hour. So for those of you who have forgotten what you learned in school, that was about 47 minutes of glancing longingly toward the top of the cliff and exclaiming every few minutes how out of shape you are and vowing to get into better shape after this. Actually I'm not sure if those last 2 statements are true. They just seem like they fit. I guess I'm taking liberties to put thoughts into peoples' minds that may or may not have ever been there. Anyways we all reached the top eventually and performed our search for water which we found with the help of some vehicle keys and also L whose familiar face I was happy to see. Soon we loaded up the vehicles again and headed for the most important part of this whole deal (for me). Lunch. After devouring our food and after a few impatient time checks on my part, we stepped into our truck and headed for home where we arrived by about 1430. The few who were left at home were happy to relinquish their duties to us for awhile and have a much needed break.
 Back in the good old days people used to grow peaches and sheep in the canyon. Ok so technically you don't grow sheep but I think the sheep did grow down there except maybe they worked off all the food they ate climbing the path up afterwards. Also the little holes in the ground aren't made by ants like they look like they would be and seem like they would be with all the ants crawling around them. They're made by locusts. Don't ask me the full story cuz I can't tell you cuz I don't know it but when the locusts come out of those holes they go into the trees to dry off. Or something like that. Yeah I know. Those comments were brilliant and enlightening. You are welcome.
 As you may have guessed, the meeting and being with many new people was not the highlight of my day.

On Little Ys and Big Whys

Picture me, down a long hall in a dark room, surrounded by 4 little sleeping faces. Shouldn't be too hard. Got the pic? Ok good. Sleeping might be the only thing these faces have in common besides being in this place at this time. Jessie* and Jolene* are sisters but a shared last name is where the similarities end for these two. Jessie is a vivacious and sweet one year old who loves to be hugged and held. This place and our sister home not an hour away are pretty much the only homes she has ever known. Jolene is a different story. At two she is one of our naughtier kids. It doesn't bother her to pinch or hit or hurt someone else anytime she wants. You can literally watch her face soften as she drifts off to sleep but a troubled look still creases her face in slumber. Apparently she comes by it honestly. 1-year-old Yo* is a spoiled, charming little boy with a silly grin and wonderful hugs. His favorite people are Mama and Papa and often it takes one of them to quiet him down before he sleeps. And then there is almost-3-year-old Sammy*. She was a sweet little girl who only stayed a few days but apparently had been here before. A quiet child, she often sat on your lap or played peacefully by herself. Or with Landon* who made fast friends with her when he tirelessly pushed her in the swing for an amazingly long time. Darling little Sammy who understood way too much for her age, who cried and wrapped her arms around me when I told her she was leaving us.
 How do one and two year olds know enough to understand about their hard lives? Why do they have to understand that much? Why do they're lives have to be this hard? Why do these kids have to be here with 11 mothers instead of just 1?Why did I get so privileged to be able to have a wonderful childhood with loving parents who took care of me? Why, why, why???
 Why can't life ever supply answers to the questions it makes us ask?

*not their real names

On the Consequences of Life

It doesn’t matter if one is tough, they still get to a person. They come in many different shapes and sizes. They can be to big people or to little people. They can come after a few days or after many days.  They can be big ones of big consequence or big ones of small consequence or any mixture of big and small and consequences of equal or unequal sizes. They can happen to fast or too slow. They can happen unexpectedly or you can be expecting them yet not be ready for them. They can last for a few days or weeks or sometimes months, years, and even for eternity. Sometimes they are unknown. I have experienced them all. I am well versed in goodbyes. 

But goodbyes mean I am privileged enough to have loved and be loved.